There Goes the Bride by Holly McQueen

Author:Holly McQueen
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Atria Books

When Samantha leaves an hour or so later, I open my bottle of wine as planned, take it into the sitting room, slump onto the sofa, drink swiftly from the first glass, and then pour myself another.

The thing is, it went well with Samantha. Really well.

Once I’d relaxed about the possibility of her accidentally sitting down on The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage, or spotting a roll of PVC body wrap under the table, we actually had a pretty decent conversation. She didn’t ask too many intrusive questions—in fact, I did most of the asking this time—and at the end of it she started writing down the details of the Preparation for Adoption course, where you go and discuss the whole adoption process with other prospective adopters. On top of that, she even started looking for suitable dates in her diary to start the first of the in-depth home study sessions a couple of months from now.

But what in God’s name am I going to do about Jamie?

It’s not just the fact that he didn’t show up for Samantha’s visit. Or the fact that he isn’t even sufficiently motivated to get his own business back up and running to pound the pavements with a few leaflets. Or the fact that it sounds pretty much like getting his own business back up and running is a nonstarter anyway, given that he is to gardens, apparently, what Hurricane Katrina was to New Orleans.

It’s the fact that he said he was going to change. And the fact that I, like an idiot, believed him.

Maybe it’s because I can’t do it as easily as other people can, but I happen to believe that becoming a parent is an overwhelming responsibility. You don’t get to pick and choose the fun parts, or the easy parts; if you’re lucky enough to get the chance to bring up a child of your own, you’re in it up to the eyeballs. And if Jamie, before we’ve even got to the difficult parts, isn’t even in it up to the toenails, then it looks like I have a really serious problem.

When my phone rings, just as I’m pouring my fourth glass of wine, I immediately assume it’s Jamie and don’t even look at the caller ID before I snatch it up.

“Where the fuck were you?”

“What?” says Polly’s voice. “Was I meant to be seeing you this evening, or something?”

“Oh. It’s you. Sorry. I thought it was …” I don’t want to say Jamie. “… someone else.”

“I see.” There’s the briefest of silences. “Look, Bells, I was just calling to see how it went today. You did say the social worker was coming, didn’t you?”

“Yes, she did. It went fine. I mean, it went great, actually!” I make the effort to inject more enthusiasm into my voice. It’d be easier if the wine weren’t dampening my abilities. “She’s fixing up dates to begin the home study, and she’s putting me up for a Preparation for Adoption course, and …”

“And Jamie.”

“Sorry?”

“You said, she’s putting you up for a course.

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